Obviously, there is some fear that holds us back.
If I say βNoβ, then obviously such and such will feel offended, if I say βNoβ something may happen, if I say βNoβ I may lose a relationship, if I say βNoβ the other person may harm me.
Some kind of fear is essential. So put your mind on this clearly. Firstly, that the inability to say βNoβ is fundamentally a fear in the mind. The mind thinks it has something to lose if it says βNoβ. Go into this. See whether this is a fact for you. Otherwise, why would you not say βNoβ? And there are so many things that we must say βNoβ to.
And you are very right that so many of our problems come because of our inability to say βNoβ. We get carried away. The crowd takes us along. We are unable to say βNoβ. External forces, external situations keep imposing their authority on us and we are unable to say βNoβ, we are unable to offer any resistance. A wave comes and sweeps us off our feet. Right? Itβs painful and we donβt like it and at the same time we find ourselves unable to say βNoβ.
You are unable to say βNoβ because you have stakes with that person or that situation or that authority or that institution. You are unable to say βNoβ because you have traded away your yes and that is the only cause of fear that is ever possible. Otherwise it is impossible to scare anyone away. Nobody can scare you if you do not have greed, a stake attached to that person or authority.
Have something of your own, then you will be perfectly able to say βNoβ. Find that out which is your own. Do not be dependent on these borrowed things and identities. And then saying βNoβ will be entirely possible. Then no one will be able to make a slave of you. Why to live a borrowed life? Donβt cite your helplessness, donβt say, βwhat we can doβ, βwe are just kidsβ, βwe are entirely helplessβ. You are not. You are young.
Your helplessness is a fiction; your helplessness comes from nothing but your mind. Your helplessness is just a thought not a fact. Why have you made yourself so helpless? There is no need.
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