Obviously, there is some fear that holds us back.
If I say ‘No’, then obviously such and such will feel offended, if I say ‘No’ something may happen, if I say ‘No’ I may lose a relationship, if I say ‘No’ the other person may harm me.
Some kind of fear is essential. So put your mind on this clearly. Firstly, that the inability to say ‘No’ is fundamentally a fear in the mind. The mind thinks it has something to lose if it says ‘No’. Go into this. See whether this is a fact for you. Otherwise, why would you not say ‘No’? And there are so many things that we must say ‘No’ to.
And you are very right that so many of our problems come because of our inability to say ‘No’. We get carried away. The crowd takes us along. We are unable to say ‘No’. External forces, external situations keep imposing their authority on us and we are unable to say ‘No’, we are unable to offer any resistance. A wave comes and sweeps us off our feet. Right? It’s painful and we don’t like it and at the same time we find ourselves unable to say ‘No’.
You are unable to say ‘No’ because you have stakes with that person or that situation or that authority or that institution. You are unable to say ‘No’ because you have traded away your yes and that is the only cause of fear that is ever possible. Otherwise it is impossible to scare anyone away. Nobody can scare you if you do not have greed, a stake attached to that person or authority.
Have something of your own, then you will be perfectly able to say ‘No’. Find that out which is your own. Do not be dependent on these borrowed things and identities. And then saying ‘No’ will be entirely possible. Then no one will be able to make a slave of you. Why to live a borrowed life? Don’t cite your helplessness, don’t say, ‘what we can do’, ‘we are just kids’, ‘we are entirely helpless’. You are not. You are young.
Your helplessness is a fiction; your helplessness comes from nothing but your mind. Your helplessness is just a thought not a fact. Why have you made yourself so helpless? There is no need.
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